Aug 20, 2009

Hate & GLBT

For me Whisper, there's a rather rich and meaningful history of relationship with the word "hate."

- As a small child, I sat fully absorbed in imaginary play with another young friend named ABC. Suddenly, Karen turned beet-red and burst into tears, saying, "I HATE God!!" We must both have been approximately 6yrs old at the time, and I was absolutely floored, as you might imagine. With some exasperated and imploring questioning, she made me to understand that her parents were undergoing a divorce and that because of that she was in extraordinary pain.

- As a young adult, I used the word "hate" to describe some attitude I had about something *much* less personally significant than ABC's situation, still politically important to me. A friend and mentor with me at the time exclaimed, "that's such a strong word! Is it really what you mean?" Stop to think about it, and to this day I generally stop to think every time I hear myself use the word (while my friend's words are ringing.)

- Almost daily, my Buddhist husband, grins at me from ear-to-ear, saying "*hate*-*hate*-*hate*" in a fashion that makes me feel quite silly for using so dramatic a word as if my vocablulary were limited to very basic language.

Generally, I still use it now, but can't help but hear all three of those voices - all forcing me to consider whether I'm using that word responsibly. If I resolve to be responsible when using that word, others will almost *never* hear it cross my lips.

Forgive me Whisper for so long a comment here. You are someone in this Community who has repeatedly been about as "Christ-like" in manner, (not meaning to embarrass you,) as to cause me to feel sharp pain whenever *you* use the word hate to describe a place in you of whatever significance. Your generosity of spirit is not consistent with ridicule for those who in my opinion do *not* choose some version of GLBT orientation.

Please suffice it to say, there are GLBT persons in my life whom I treasure for their contributions to who I am as a person and citizen of the human race. Whenever statements are made with careless disrespect about who *they* are, a 6yr old child in me rises up swinging and ... (well you might guess the rest!) Then I get to deal with having humiliated myself, and trying to take my "humble-pie" medicine, and hope to repair *my* damages to right relationships I've come to value here with blog community. And, Whisper, you've been stellar in my list of right relationships!

I believe it's just this sort of encounter that has seeded warfare since the beginning of time. Heaven help us all.


  1. I don't like to use the word "hate; either. I use to use it quite often when I was a lot younger. It gives me a weird awful feeling when I say it now, by accident. I always have to correct myself out loud.

  2. Thanks for bringing the use of the word "hate" up... Most of us should think about it and ponder the use of the word before saying it, as in 99% or more of the cases it is used inappropriately

  3. You are absolutely right. Most of us use it so frequently and without even thinking what it implies