Aug 20, 2009

Hate & GLBT

For me Whisper, there's a rather rich and meaningful history of relationship with the word "hate."

- As a small child, I sat fully absorbed in imaginary play with another young friend named ABC. Suddenly, Karen turned beet-red and burst into tears, saying, "I HATE God!!" We must both have been approximately 6yrs old at the time, and I was absolutely floored, as you might imagine. With some exasperated and imploring questioning, she made me to understand that her parents were undergoing a divorce and that because of that she was in extraordinary pain.

- As a young adult, I used the word "hate" to describe some attitude I had about something *much* less personally significant than ABC's situation, still politically important to me. A friend and mentor with me at the time exclaimed, "that's such a strong word! Is it really what you mean?" Stop to think about it, and to this day I generally stop to think every time I hear myself use the word (while my friend's words are ringing.)

- Almost daily, my Buddhist husband, grins at me from ear-to-ear, saying "*hate*-*hate*-*hate*" in a fashion that makes me feel quite silly for using so dramatic a word as if my vocablulary were limited to very basic language.

Generally, I still use it now, but can't help but hear all three of those voices - all forcing me to consider whether I'm using that word responsibly. If I resolve to be responsible when using that word, others will almost *never* hear it cross my lips.

Forgive me Whisper for so long a comment here. You are someone in this Community who has repeatedly been about as "Christ-like" in manner, (not meaning to embarrass you,) as to cause me to feel sharp pain whenever *you* use the word hate to describe a place in you of whatever significance. Your generosity of spirit is not consistent with ridicule for those who in my opinion do *not* choose some version of GLBT orientation.

Please suffice it to say, there are GLBT persons in my life whom I treasure for their contributions to who I am as a person and citizen of the human race. Whenever statements are made with careless disrespect about who *they* are, a 6yr old child in me rises up swinging and ... (well you might guess the rest!) Then I get to deal with having humiliated myself, and trying to take my "humble-pie" medicine, and hope to repair *my* damages to right relationships I've come to value here with blog community. And, Whisper, you've been stellar in my list of right relationships!

I believe it's just this sort of encounter that has seeded warfare since the beginning of time. Heaven help us all.

3 comments:

  1. I don't like to use the word "hate; either. I use to use it quite often when I was a lot younger. It gives me a weird awful feeling when I say it now, by accident. I always have to correct myself out loud.

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  2. Thanks for bringing the use of the word "hate" up... Most of us should think about it and ponder the use of the word before saying it, as in 99% or more of the cases it is used inappropriately

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  3. You are absolutely right. Most of us use it so frequently and without even thinking what it implies

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